13Hearts

The sterling nuggets, the 'hearts' that compose the line, are a mistake. Well, actually, they aren't, they are exactly what I created to be a part of a new and totally cutting edge ‘fashion’ jewelry line I was designing with two other women. One woman, my cousin, Sylke, was doing all the pattern making, cutting and sewing of the fabrics. Her creations were then going to get sterling accessories designed by a wonderful Metalsmith named Sarah who also happens to be one of my dear friends. Sarah used to work at the gallery (years ago!) and now lives about a half an hour away in the town of Falmouth (also on Cape Cod.) I made and cast these 'hearts' more as 'nuggets' to bring to Sarah to craft into beautiful closures for the fabrics. To do so, Sarah would have to grind, tumble, sand, and solder each piece. Sarah began her work and they were coming out great! And then Sarah began to get the symptoms of her Multiple Sclerosis, which had been in remission. Sarah was dizzy and experiencing vertigo and nauseau. Still, she worked every day and called me to say she was getting there, it would just take a little longer than expected. I could feel my heart breaking. When Sarah, Sylke and myself had sat down and planned our line, we all realized it was going to be something special. The line was truly a three way collaboration of ideas and talents. We were all an equal part in the birth of the designs.

So when Sarah asked me if I wanted to find someone else to make the pieces< I couldn’t imagine going on without her, and I hated that she was pushing herself so hard while fighting just to feel good.

Trying to decide what to do, I spent an entire evening holding one of the ‘nuggets’ in my hand, as if it could tell me what to do. I also was praying that Sarah would get better. I realized I no longer cared about the jewelry line, I only cared about Sarah. I called Sarah the next day and told her that the ONLY thing that mattered to me was her getting better, and that she was not allowed to worry about all these nuggets we had paid to have cast. I told her Iwould figure something out. I talked to Sylke, (who had invested countless weeks on perfecting her part of the line) and she instantly agreed. We decided to let the line go to take the pressure off Sarah.

I held the nugget in my hand and looked at it. I realized, that the way it was, just then, unfinished, reminded me of a heart. It was, suddenly, a heart.

I realized I loved the way it felt in my hand. It is solid sterling, so it is heavy, it has weight. And the unremoved 'sprue' was its artery. The more I looked, the more I saw it. The next few weeks turned out to be challenging for all three of us. So, I began to meditate with each of the "hearts" for things we were all trying to work out. And thus was born the idea for 13hearts. So is it ‘jewelry’? Not really. But it’s important to us, and the hearts feel so good in your hands, and the idea behind them feels right in our hearts. What 13hearts reminds us of is what matters most and that is loving another person, and living in a way so that we may also, fully love ourselves.

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